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| So, I've been mainly using Facebook to do my blogging, since it's right there and all...but I thought that this particular entry was important enough to deserve a reprint on my Xanga, so that you can laugh at my attempts to sound like a Hallmark card or something. Enjoy! This is a list to remind myself and others that life doesn't need to be so difficult. Of course, I understand that needless drama sometimes affects our judgement and steers our actions--that's just what a lot of people call the HUMAN CONDITION--but sometimes it's nice to look at things in simple terms and wonder "Why not try and make life as easy as this?" You'll have to forgive the tacky sentimentality, but sometimes life really does require the kind of shit you read on inspirational posters.
1. Care about the people who care about you. Friends, family, strangers, whatever...the point is that these people bother to care about what happens to someone besides themselves, and I think that warrants in the very least returning the favor.
2. If possible, love the people who love you. In an ideal world, we would each have a readily accessable soul-mate that we could live happily ever after with, but realistically that is very much not the case. However, if you do find love, make sure that you don't just throw it away. That would be a stupid thing to do.
3. Try to be creative every once in a while. Paint, sing, dance...or if you're like me and you can't do any of those things, write. Or take something that a lot of people do in the 'normal' way and try to approach it from a different angle. Not only does art help us express ourselves, but it's useful for impressing members of the opposite sex. Or the same sex. Whatever you're into.
4. It's ok to have regrets and fears, but don't dwell on the past or worry about the future too much. If you haven't done anything that you regret then you probably aren't taking a lot of chances (which, I suppose, is up to you). Similarly, if you claim that you aren't afraid of the future, I would reccomend you stop lying. Time is scary, and that's ok.
5. Hold on to things that are important to you in your life. If people, or time, or distance puts those things in jeopardy, be prepared to pursue and defend them. If they're really important to you, be ready to fight for them, but do your best to know the consequences before you do.
6. Treat people nicely. Strangers, friends, anybody. Don't just be mean for the sake of being mean, because...come on. I mean, really. Yield at roundabouts, hold elevator doors, help people carry things...I bet there are a thousand opportunities to do little good things every day that we miss out on.
7. If you do manage to wrong someone, apologize. Be sincere. If it's a friend you've hurt, then you should probably feel guilty about it, and attempt to put things right. Be dignified. Chances are they won't ask you to do anything humiliating, so don't start off your apology that way.
8. When people do wrong against you, and they are sincerely sorry, forgive them. Of course, you don't have to do this right away because you have a certain right to be angry or hurt as well, but remember that the sooner you patch things up the better.
9. Be patient with people. Most people aren't really TRYING to make your life more difficult, even if they sometimes succeed without their knowledge. Everyone gets frustrated, but it's a lot easier to keep situations from boiling over when people just exercise a little patience.
10. Be grateful for everything, because there are no guarantees in life. In fact, every time we wake up in the morning, take a step, or draw a breath we should consider ourselves lucky that we had the opportunity. Some day you won't get that chance ever again, but who knows when that will be, right? Nobody does, because life isn't predetermined like that (says me, at least) so just act like you're the luckiest person on Earth all the time.
Well, I certainly hope that reading this list did some fraction of the good that it did me in writing it. The 10 things on there are just some basic principles that I really SHOULD try to live my life by...of course, you the reader can take them or leave them as you choose. Also, I'm sure that there are at least a few entirely jaded and cynical people who scoff at any sort of idealism (probably while killing puppies for fun), and are probably irritated by my cliche regurgitation of foolish ideals embedded in the common psyche of ignorant America, or something to that effect. Well, nobody likes those people anyway. Probably because they are trying to be too cool to be a decent person--something to which I seem to have fallen prey to lately, and I'm sorry. That's why I titled this list "IDEALS THAT I FORGET BUT SHOULD REALLY REMEMBER"; and I'm trying to. I promise. | | |
| Well, another year has begun at KU without much pomp or circumstance. Not that I was really expecting any... though a ticker-tape parade for my return would've been a nice gesture I think. The good news is that this apartment is pretty swell, and my classes seem to be fairly decent as well. I need to obtain a job that will yield cashmoneymegabux$, but I apparently have a chronic illness that somehow prevents me from job hunting. I think it's some sort of inflammation of my Procrastination Gland.
Whatever. That news is boring; I just needed something to get me started posting again.
And now for a public service announcement:
Prediction: The snakes lose by 3, but it's a close game.
Also, the movie will make a hundred million dollars.
 | Currently Watching
Snakes on a Plane
By Samuel L. Jackson, Byron Lawson, Nathan Phillips (II), Candice Macalino, Taylor Kitsch, Casey Dubois, Gerard Plunkett, David Koechner, Bobby Cannavale, Crystal Lowe, Terry Chen, Kenan Thompson, Bruce James (II), Flex Alexander, Elsa Pataky, Lin Shaye, Mark Houghton, Daniel Hogarth, Darryl Quon, Rachel Blanchard
see related |
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| Sometimes I think it's hazardous for me to own an iPod. I mean, of course, apart from the whole factor of looking like a total douchebag when I have it anywhere except campus (where being a douchebag is generally encouraged) I have a tendency...no, a compulsion to sing along to any and all music that I hear playing. Even if I don't know all the words, there are times when I'm listening to my iPod that I must consciously refrain myself from bursting into song at the top of my lungs. The thing is, I listen to my music loud enough to drown out all of the typical ambient sounds that remind you of your surroundings, so even if there are a bunch of people nearby holding a conversation, I feel like there is nothing in the world happening outside of what I can see and hear. There is a degree of privacy and seclusion that comes with portable music that I find to be not unlike the circumstances under which one would usually sing aloud -- in the car, in the shower, or when you're home alone -- and this creates a dilemma, especially for somebody like me who can't keep his big mouth shut most of the time.
Let's see...7 school days left before finals week. I'm not sure how I'll survive the end of the semester, with all these presentations, projects, papers, and tests falling into my lap at the same time, but my guess is I'll manage alright. My days at Target are drawing to a close as well, just in time for finals week, but this means that they've massively overscheduled me as some form of revenge for quitting. The good news is that once I get through these next couple weeks I can see no reason why I shouldn't be able to throw the rest of my stuff in the car and be moved out of Oliver forever by the afternoon of Thursday the 18th. It's just in time, too...I'm bored of just about everything here in Lawrence: class, work, Mrs. E's...even video games and the internet have actually started to seem like a waste of time. It scares me to say it...but I may actually become a good student for these last couple weeks, out of a lack of anything better to do.
Nah, it'll never happen. | | |
| After such an enjoyable weekend I find myself suddenly thrust into the dying throes of an ending semester, complete with all the kind of papers, finals, projects, and other things that I've characteristically managed to put off until this point. Top that off with an unusually full work schedule and the fact that I need to get 8 hours of teaching field experience in a school environment before next Monday, and you've got yourself in quite a situation...or rather, I've got myself in quite a situation, though I imagine many people are facing a similar 'crunch time' in their own ways.
However, despite all the stress there is a potential for a fantastic week in there somewhere. For instance, I spent 3 and a half hours this morning at Prairie Park Elementary school with Mrs. Wesley's 4th grade class. I have no idea why I didn't take CCC in high school, because I had a fantastic time with these kids, and I really barely even did anything besides just watch! The dislike that I previously harbored at the idea of teaching in an elementary school situation has completely disappeared, and I'm looking forward to going back for more tomorrow afternoon. Also, these kids are just fantastic at fractions! I mean, I know that's sort of a dumb thing to be excited about...but you should look at them go! (As a side note, I'd like to add that I drove back to my dorm this morning with the windows down as I sang along to TLC's "No Scrubs"...making me officially the most embarassing friend you have.)
Also coming up this week: I have to start memorizing a scene from Beckett's Waiting for Godot for my English class, which means I'll have a little theatre back in my life for a short amount of time. Even if it's just for a project, I think it'll be a nice way to sort of keep myself in tune with...myself. You know?
Oh! New Lost on Wednesday, that sure is exciting for those of us caught up on the 2nd season happenings.
I have to work Thursday and Saturday nights, so I've decided to see Into the Woods on Friday, which means that you all better break the general rule and make Friday night's show the best of them all.
My schedule is almost finally done for next year, which is a relief in itself. However, since all the COMS 130 classes appear to be closed at the moment and I only have 13 credit hours lined up, I'm looking for something exciting to add to my schedule. Current candidates include music classes such as History of Jazz, History of Rock and Roll, Great Innovators in Jazz, and so on; or maybe even something truly bizzare like Bowling or Men's Ballet 1. Perhaps I'll even add a choir to my schedule next semester, which would really make next year the best one ever.
There's a lot going on, and it'll only get worse as I continue to put things off...but I think that I'm finally starting to enjoy this semester. Unfortunately, there are only like 3 weeks of class left to enjoy...but...wait, what am I saying?
Oh hells yes, there are only three weeks left of class for real dawg. | | |
| I don't consider myself a compulsive risk-taking type of person. I mean, you all know how I have a complete lack of a desire to try anything cool and dangerous, like your commonplace college scene of smoking, drinking, partying, and what have you... In fact, it's possible that I don't really take enough risks in my life, and I'll wind up some 90 year old man who never did anything that other people would really call noteworthy.
But, I don't think that's me.
Where am I going with this? Oh, yes...
I may not take a lot of risks that involve physical danger or illegal acts, and I certainly don't do anything that leaves me with a chance of falling flat on my face in a very public way. (Well, anymore...not since my theatre days at Northwest, but I don't think that really counts as 'risk taking'.) However, I do a lot of small things that have the potential to either be brilliant and wonderful or leave me feeling disheartened and discouraged. Well, like what for instance?
I've always been told that I commit far too whole-heartedly into things that really don't need to have that much on line. Maybe this is true, but let me first draw a distinction for you between what I consider this to mean and what it may come across as. I'm not saying that I get overly emotional or fly off the handle at the drop of a hat or anything like that...after all, I'm not a woman. (A joke, ladies.) No, I think that if it is true that I put too much of myself in my endeavors, I'd like to think of it as somewhat of a positive.
Maybe I'm over-exerting myself, that part certainly could be true...but what I really want to believe is that I put all that I've got into certain things because I can't imagine myself being satisfied by giving any less. That could explain my past difficulty of 'falling for' people so quickly and earnestly that I tend to have no regard for proper pacing or self-discipline. I trip over myself, I say things I shouldn't and come to regret it later, and most of all I usually come to bring a whole hell of a lot of complication into someone else's life that I know they don't want. But I do it because I literally can't hold myself back from being completely engulfed in my own desire to love and be loved. Of course, this is beginning to walk the dangerous line between sincere and saccharine, so I'll try and spare you the version with extra cheese and just be frank.
I'm not saying I fall in love with and want to marry every girl I have the slightest interest in, but what I am saying is that... what am I saying? Look, I don't fall in love easily, and I don't think that it's possible to do so. I also don't think I've ever really been in love before. I'm guilty of saying so, so please forgive me, but my lack of experience on the topic has sometimes shown itself through my words and actions. Anyway, here we come to the point of this session. When I put my heart into something it's not because I expect love or orther such rewards to already be there waiting for me, but because I see the pure and frightening potential...the beautiful as well as the terrible manifest within the same seed.
The point of departure for a thousand possible roads, each shaped--as all things in the universe--by the forces of chance and choice. The particular path I take isn't important, because there's absolutely no way of knowing what lies in any direction.
The only important thing is the first step, the initial action, the risk. Do this with nothing less than your whole self and you can never be disappointed in the result. Doubt your decision, be fearful, consider giving up, do what you have to do but for God's sake and mine take that first step.
Whew. I was almost starting to get a little poetic there...forgive me for getting so carried away. I make no claim at attempting to be a legitimate writer; sometimes my mind just works in pointless and verbose ways, especially on days like today. You see, today was a sort of mental garbage day, in which I take all the formless junk that clogs up my thoughts and occupies the vast amount of spare room in my head, take it all and grind it down to a thin paste of words, which flows down, out through my fingers and on to the computer screen before you. Of course, I am always concerned that I will sound too "emo", so these mental garbage days are few and far between, as well as usually being fairly private affairs. Maybe to one person or a small group at 4 AM in somebody's living room, but not usually to such a broad medium as the internet.
Consider yourselves lucky. Or, maybe unlucky because you probably spent at least 5 minutes reading the whole thing, and that's time you'll never get back. Hopefully, it was time well spent...who knows, maybe you'll even get something out of it?
Anyway, all I know is that I sure do feel a hell of a lot better.
Thanks. | | |
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